Sweet Hellos, Bitter Goodbyes
by I-am-the-survivor
Summary: Nobody ever wants a guardian angel but it's too late for asking when they appear (Guardian Angel AU)
1. Gone

Here is the new fic like I promised! It will be multi-POV multi-chapter one shots of the Guardian Angel AU in AOS soooo enjoy!

Melinda sits with her legs curled to her chest. Her eyes are glued to the tv watching as Woody Harrelson's character smacks a zombie in the skull with a baseball bat. She sips her tea slowly waiting for a phone call from Phil. He usually calls around now. Her hand falls to the remote flipping to the news. Nothing. She was almost hoping to hear news about the climax of the battle. It was uncharacteristically quiet. To be fair it was always really quiet after the divorce.

It had taken her months after Bahrain to get the urge to ask for a divorce. She didn't want to break his heart but at the same time she couldn't be around anyone anymore. It wasn't fair to him. One day his wife wants children, a life. By the next she won't even let him touch her hands. He deserved more than that. He deserved more than her. But he didn't leave. He tried to beg her to stay. He tried so damn hard… He loves her and there's still a part of her that loves him. Even after all these years. Even if she hasn't heard from him at all. She still loves him… But she can't put him through this. He deserves someone who will give him a family, someone who he can be happy with, someone who is warm… She didn't deserve him.

Hell, she doesn't deserve Phil. But the man is so damn stubborn. Just as much as she is, if not more. Even after she wouldn't answer his calls he didn't give up. For months she'd just receive twenty messages after every call. She considered every once in while throwing away her phone. Though, if she was being honest with herself she found a certain level of comfort in the messages. Even if it was twenty messages just about the Captain America cartoon that he just watched and how it was a shame none ever include Peggy Carter. After a year she gave in and answered the call. Even if it was just to listen to him. She never said much and he never pushed her to. It was a good balance between the two of them. By the second year the gifts rolled by. He'd drop a six pack of her favorite beer by her doorstep and she'd pretend she didn't hear his footsteps coming down the hall when he came to drop them off. He really was too loud… After the third year she "caught" him and invited him inside. That's when he told her he was joining the avengers initiative. He left for New York a couple of months later. He calls her everyday to account for what happens that day. Most of the time he's either complaining about Stark or fangirling over the fact that Captain America is even more heroic in public.

"Lin…" His voice rips her from her thoughts forcing her to spin around. She points the knife that was sitting on her table at him with a frown.

"God Phil you scared the hell out of me! I could have hurt you." She grumbles placing the knife down. "Though you're getting better at sneaking around. I didn't even hear you come in." She sighs.

"But I-"

"I thought you were supposed to be in New York." She questions. He looks good. His hair is combed neatly and his suit is well pressed. He obviously dressed well for his job. Normally they would wear tactical suits but Phil always was a fan of the old fashioned. The classic suit and tie look was his go to.

"I was but-"

"You know what? I don't care." She smiles slightly. "I'm glad to see you." She moves to hug him but she passes straight through him. Her heart drops to her stomach at the motion. She turns around and sure enough he is staring at her sadly. She quickly pinches her skin in a desperate effort to wake herself up. The pain radiates through her arm confirming her worst fears. This wasn't a dream… This wasn't some crazy nightmare she could escape…

She's heard of this before. After a loved one dies that person would appear again. She didn't believe it. She thought it was a cruel myth for the heartbroken. Her own father found a guardian angel in her grandmother. She thought he had been going through denial when she caught him talking to himself as if she were still there. Guardian angels were someone only you could see. Someone only you could hear. After they died they would appear beside someone who loved them the most… This wasn't fair. He shouldn't be here. He should be with Audrey she loves him… She loves him so damn much why is he here with her? But he's here so that means…

Her phone rings cutting off her thoughts. She begs for it to be Phil. She begs herself to be so drunk that she's hallucinating her best friend in her apartment when he's supposed to be in New York fighting underneath the Avengers. He's not dead. He's calling her to complain about Stark again. He just has to be. She doesn't care if she has to listen to yet another two hour long discussion about how damn important Bucky Barnes was in Captain America's life and how he influenced Steve to become a hero. She'd give anything to hear his voice… Anything but this…

"Melinda? I'm so sorry… Phil's dead." Maria's voice cuts through the phone. It feels like her whole world shatters from beneath her. Her knees collapse under her weight as she lets out a pained cry. She screams until her throat is sore. She can hear Phil's muffled sniffs in the background despite the pounding in her ears. She can't lose him. This can't be happening. He's going to knock on the door and wake her from a drunken stupor.

Memories flash before her eyes. Midnight binge watching the Star Wars movies, legendary prank pulling, embarrassing times after an undercover mission had them kiss, snowball fights, sparring sessions, his long rambles…

But none of that would happen again…

He's gone.


	2. The Perfect Pair

So I decided officially to make this at least a 3 part set. I'll eventually get to the last but I wanted to write this one before I got to that. I hope you enjoy!

Phil sits on the bed staring down at the new model in disdain. It was wonderful, truly. It was one of Fitz's best works yet. But somehow he can still feel it. Simmons had called it a phantom limb but it felt like more than that. He had felt it. He felt the warmth burning through Ward's suit. He felt his ribs crack beneath his fingertips. None of it made sense. Yet at the same time he could still feel her with him. He could still see the indentation she left on his bed. Some days it's like she never even left.

"Phil." A sad pitied voice calls to him. Her voice. No he has to be imagining these things. She can't be in front of him.

Rosalind kneels in front of where he's sitting on the bedside smiling sadly. He swears he never wants to wake up again as he stares into her bright green eyes. He has to be dreaming after all. She bled out in his arms. He couldn't seem to ever get the crimson off his hands. The stain was still in her apartment. This had to be some cruel, beautiful dream.

"It's not your fault." Her voice calls to him. He reaches out to stroke her cheek, just to touch her once more. His hand passes right through her causing his heart to sink to his stomach. This was no dream. This was reality. Harsh, taunting reality.

His mother had taught him all about guardian angels. When someone special to you had passed away they would take the place of your guardian angel. He was disappointed when neither his mother nor father took that place for him. He made it through most of his life without ever having one.

Then he became one… For the few days he was dead he haunted Melinda. He watched as she drank the memories away. Most days she was not alone. Natasha and Clint would alternate spots to make sure she didn't do anything rash. One day he even watched her and Steve share a drink and talk about their doomed friends. They never spoke of it. Not since the break down.

Now Rosalind was his. The thought that he put Melinda through this pain before she ever even knew. The haunting realization of your mistakes attached to you. Rosalind shifts slightly and he can see the conflict in her eyes. She knows the consequences for staying behind. He knows them well considering he faced them long before she ever did.

"You need to go."

"But Phil-"

"I'll be fine Ros." He whispers sadly. "I've got my team." He looks towards the door. Even through the thick walls he could hear the chatter of agents lingering in the corridor. Her eyes flash to the side. "They can only hear me. But I'm not loud enough for them to." He smiles back at the floor. Her can feel the angry tears building behind his eyes. Why couldn't he save her? It wasn't fair that she had to suffer.

A knock startles her into disappearing despite his warnings. Melinda opens the door holding a bottle of tequila in one hand and two glasses in the other. Wordlessly she takes the spot by his side passing him his glass.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Thunk._

The rhythm of her punching was solid, steady beneath her knuckles. Each shot vibrating up her arm like a gun shot.

 _Thunk thunk._

The funeral was tomorrow. She'd have to face his mother and explain to her why she can't bury her son's body. Why she can't allow his poor mother to bury her only son. The tequila burns her throat as she picks up the bottle taking a swift drink. Her punches were sloppy and she had forgotten to wear gloves.

The pain was good. The pain was distracting.

"Melinda." _Thunk thunk._ She had known he would show up. It was inevitable. First Phil and now him. It hurts more every time. She could hide the pain. She just needed to keep going. She can't stop. If she stops she breaks. She can never stop.

She feels the skin of her knuckles begin to rip painfully. Raw knuckles burning against the rough leather.

"Melinda would you please talk to me?" Andrew begs her. He knows what he is. The resignation in his voice gives him away. She had talked to him when Phil had died. Told him that he was her guardian angel. He tried helping but everything felt like she was just another of his patients. It was infuriating. Now she can feel his eyes burning the back of her head. He won't stop until she gives in.

She turns and she almost chokes on her words. It's truly him again. No Lash, no monster that danced behind his eyes. Just his warm gaze on her again. "What do you want me to say?" She whispers, much more broken than she had intended to sound. "Do you want me to say that I blame myself? I sent you in there with no back up Andrew. He had no way of tracking how many people were on the plane. We've hidden in these planes more times than I've counted in training and I just sent you alone."

"You didn't know." He states.

"Didn't I? Now I get to explain to your mother why she can't bury you. I have to face everyone. I never wanted this yet I still sent you anyway."

"Melinda…"

"Do you want me to tell you that I could have saved you? That I gave up on you?"

"Me-"

"I never even got to say goodbye!" She shouts into the seemingly empty room.

"Mel?" She spins around finding Phil standing in the doorway wearing his stupid Captain America shirt that was worn down from years of wearing. He approaches her quickly and before she knows it she's crumpling into his arms. Her knees give from under her, slowly he lowers them to the ground.

"I never got to say goodbye." She whispers. A stray tear slips down her cheek. He brushes it away, his eyes never leaving her face.

Gently he takes her hands in his pulling gauze out of the pocket of his sweatpants. He bandages her limp fingers wordlessly, his thumbs stroking the back of the ivory bands when he finishes. She simply stares at the ground as he does just holding onto his touch for just a little bit.

He grabs the tequila settling himself next to her. They pass the bottle between each other, letting the silence act as their grief.

His fingers never left hers.


	3. Always

The final chapter of Sweet Hellos, Bitter Goodbyes is here! It has been so long sing I finished a series and it honestly feels amazing to be able to. Thank you to everyone who read. Be warned there is no philinda in this chapter besides being mentioned. It is tripskye and daisymack friendship. Enjoyyy

Daisy sits in her bedroom her knees curled to her chest. The jacket two sizes too large for her weighs heavily on her shoulders as she stares blankly into space. It's only been a week since she lost him and the smell of him has already faded. Melinda caught her the first time she tried to slip into his old room. She wisely listened to May instead of going in. Instead May gave her the jacket and sent her on her way. Daisy spied a ring hanging from the necklace strewn across her SO's throat. She understood so much more than Daisy could ever understand.

But she didn't. Andrew's death wasn't May's fault. It was her's. Just like Lincoln. A dry sob rips through her throat at the thought. Andrew had died saving her. He should have just killed her. It would have made things so much better for everyone. She should have been the one to die with Ward or Hive or whatever he was.

Daisy scrambles for the water Jemma had brought to her. She basically commanded her to take a drink every ten minutes or so, so that she wouldn't dehydrate herself. Her body ached from crying so instead she just stared blankly at the wall.

She hurt herself and May… It should have been her.

"I knew you were a fighter." A voice startles her out of her reverie. A familiar bright smile stares down at her sadly at the edge of the bed. She rubs her eyes forcing herself to focus but the apparition wouldn't go away. "Hey, easy. I know you're confused." Trip says softly sitting on her bed.

Slowly Daisy reaches out to place her hands on his. Sure enough her hand passes right through him. "A guardian angel." She whispers.

"Yeah." He smiles. "Wish I could give you a hug right now but it's against the rules." He shrugs.

"Why? Why weren't you here? Why now?" She rubs her eyes furiously as tears build behind them once again.

"Oh Skye…" He mutters moving closer to her.

"It's Daisy…"

"Right." He nods. "Sorry I forgot."

"Why now?" Her voice breaks with the question.

"Cause you're a miracle worker." He laughs bitterly. "Through everything you went through I knew you could get through it on your own. Now, I think you needed a familiar face that wasn't one that you think you betrayed."

"I did."

"Sk-" He takes a breath correcting himself. "Daisy, do you remember what happened in those caves?"

"How can I forget?" She mutters laying her head on her pillow.

"Then you'll remember you weren't the first person to be brainwashed." Trip points out raising an eyebrow. "You don't think Mack didn't feel like garbage after he did that?"

"He didn't kill anyone." Daisy insists sitting up.

"And neither did you." Daisy opens her mouth to interrupt but Trip raises a hand to cut her off. "Both Lincoln and I made a choice. There's nothing you could've done to change our minds." Her bottom lip trembles again as she buries her face in her pillow. "Do you know how long it took me to convince Mack that my death wasn't his fault?"

"You're Mack's guardian angel?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "Who'd you think he was yelling to when he never could beat my record on Mario Kart?"

"He almost did one day." Daisy says sadly. "He stopped right before the finish line and-"

"-Watched the little ghost pass the finish line. I know." He says looking at the ground. "It was hard for a while there after Hunter and Bobbi left."

"God we're such a mess." Daisy laughs bitterly. "Why'd you ever leave us alone?"

"To be fair I thought leaving you with May was leaving you in good hands." He points out. The side of Daisy's lip twitches slightly in a hint of a smile. "Mission accomplished." He says.

"What?"

"Well, in the process of healing my goal is to make you smile a little bit every day. I missed your smile."

"I missed yours." Daisy's eyes swell up with tears again.

"You want to know something?"

"What?"

"Neither of them blame you. Andrew or Lincoln."

"You met Lincoln?" She asks picking her head up.

"He's happy." He smiles. "He wishes it were him as your angel but he decided I was the next best thing." He shrugs. "And Andrew already picked up his first job…"

"May…" She whispers remembering hearing May mutter to herself as she passed the gym.

"Bingo. Then Coulson has Rosalind hanging over his shoulders. You should see her and Andrew. And I thought you were bad with trying to set mom and dad up."

"Really?"

"That's our goal." Trip nods. "Make our loved ones as happy as possible." He sighs sitting back against her bed. "Their best chance is with each other. Nobody else has been through the same stuff or stayed as long as them."

"What's my best chance?" Daisy asks hopeful.

"That's your choice." Trip smirks thoughtfully. "Personally, I'd talk to someone."

"I am talking to someone." She quips.

"There she is." He laughs. "You know what I mean." He shakes his head. "Then I'd take a few days off. Go see Cal. Take a few days just to spend like before you even came here."

"You did that?"

"'Course I did! I spent a week on my old race car bed in my mama's house playing with old joy buzzers." Daisy throws him an exasperated look rolling her eyes. "Okay fine. I did go to my mama's house though. It made me appreciate how I got here when things got tough."

"And they just let you go?" Daisy questions.

"It's your choice not theirs." Trip says softly. "But I think you could use a bit of adventure. Just don't forget your hula girl." He teases.

"Never."

Suddenly the door opens to reveal Mack holding a water bottle. "Hey, were you talking to somebody?" Mack asks.

"I-" Her eyes go from Mack to Trip. He only nods with a smile.

"You see him too don't you?" Mack asks. Daisy can only nod as tears build in her eyes. Mack covers the distance quickly wrapping her in a tight hug. She clutches his shirt as sobs wrack her body once again. "You told her what you told me?" Trip nods with a solemn smile. "You better take care of Tremors." Trip lets out a laugh as Mack rubs her spine.

"Always."


End file.
